Happy Anniversary!

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary is tomorrow, and it's got me feeling all sorts of love!

Watching their marriage as I've grown up has been a lesson in humility. 

At first when I was a kid, I took it for granted. Of course they loved each other - Mom and Dad displayed their love in many ways in front of us. Dad would come home at night and give Mom a kiss and a bump on the butt while she was in the kitchen making dinner. After dinner, Dad would make a point to pat Mom's head and pay her a compliment about the meal before he sat down to the news. She'd sit on his lap in the big chair and watch TV. When Dad had cancer, Mom put bowls of lemon drops everywhere because that was all Dad could stomach. Of course they loved each other - they had everything they ever wanted and were both just the best, I would think.

As a teen trying to sort out my own ideas of romance, I began paying more attention to Mom and Dad - how they would talk to each other, their body language, and how they would talk about each other when the other was out of earshot. They definitely had their moments - rolling their eyes at each other and snarking, giving each other the silent treatment, but those tensions wouldn't last. Pretty soon they would be laughing at each other's jokes or expenses and I would be reminded that their marriage may have ups and downs, but in a few hours or a few days, everything would be right again.

My parents never shied away from being fully invested in our lives, even when they were going through their own challenges. Each marriage can be tumultuous in its own way, especially when you own a home and a cottage that always seem to need something done to them, are building a business and guiding it through recessions, receiving bottomless cancer diagnoses, watching your parents grow older, maintaining professional development and sparking knowledge and inspiration in other people's children through kindergarten and art, trying to rear three very different teenage girls in an ever-changing world - one of whom with an undiagnosed neurodevelopmental disorder and heinous allergies - and not lose what it is about you that makes you, you. And yet, my parents would sit down at the table and still have time - and wherewithal - to listen to our lives and answer our questions. They attended our games, shows and concerts. They welcomed our friends into the house with open arms. Their input was rewarding, their love for us tantamount, and their consistency was necessary.

My parents have taught me that marriage is the foundation that all other decisions are based upon.

They have taught me that a relationship is give and take - and sometimes you'll be doing more of the giving than the taking - and if it's a great partnership, it will all come out in the wash. 

They have taught me that many different types of love go into a healthy relationship: friendship and support, romance and passion, quiet and security, teaching and learning, leading and following, and buckets and buckets of humor and patience.

They have taught me to ask for what I want and to speak up for what I need.

They have taught me to fight tooth and nail for my partner when they can't fight for themselves.

They have taught me to fight tooth and nail alongside my partner because our marriage is worth it.

They have taught me that wealth, health, bodies, houses, cars, friends, holidays come and go but their love for each other will still remain.

Thanks Mom and Dad. I'm truly humbled by your love. Happy 50th Anniversary!