Another Angel

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice,

and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

My beautiful 24-year-old cousin, Brandi, lost her life in November.  She and a friend were walking on a pier on Lake Michigan and got swept away.  Because they found her friend's shoes jammed up under the handrail, they think that Brandi was swept away first and her friend took off his shoes and tried to save her.  Brandi was found the following day and her friend, Eike, wasn't found until a month later.

Doug, Ollie and I flew to Michigan to attend her services.  Six hundred people attended her visitation and the funeral was nearly standing room only.  Brandi touched a lot of hearts in her life and it will be a long time before our family comes to terms with her loss and the grief that comes with it.  

As I've said before, I'm one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason.  I quickly found that it's much easier to believe that when you lose your job or you  break up with your boyfriend, but it's quite another story when your young cousin leaves the earth in a completely senseless and tragic way.  My foundation of reason crumbled a bit at the corners.  But instead of staying within myself, I remembered what Mr. Rogers' mother would always tell him when he'd see scary things - she'd tell him to "look for the helpers" - and I looked for them.  As Mr. Rogers would go on to say, he was "always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."

What I found were people making a difference in the day for others.  I saw how everyone who knew Pete, Beth, Joey and Brandi simultaneously lift up the family with warm hugs, generous deeds and thoughtful prayers. 

I saw friends and family standing with Pete, Beth and Joey, knowing that their silence was enough.

I saw a reverend, who had known Brandi, eulogize her with personal tidbits, emotion and fatherly affection.

I saw the family's Facebook feeds blow up with memories and support.

I saw a good friend of Brandi's create and post pictures of Brandi in a lovely video.

I saw congregants from Brandi's church attend the funeral and host a feast after the graveside service.

I saw people come from as far as Georgia and Texas to be with the family.

I saw a woman who had spoken with Brandi that night before she died talk to my parents with such pride in my cousin, a woman whom she knew as the youngest volunteer leader within their organization, Birthright International.

I saw Eike's father attend the visitation and funeral, even though his son hadn't yet been found.

I saw enough to know that Brandi took care of those around her (those she knew and those she didn't), and that her family will be taken care of after she passed.  This helped my crumbling spirit - knowing that everyone around us was helping, and knowing, in part, that it was because Brandi had been a helper to them.  

In the weeks to follow, I also saw those who worked with Brandi at Students for Life of America create a $250 scholarship in her name to forward her legacy.  

Everything happens for a reason is a beautiful sentiment.  And in my heart of hearts, I know it to be true.  Call me a hypocrite or call me transformed, though, because I don't know if I can resort to "everything happens for a reason" as quickly as I have in the past, and certainly not yet for this tragedy.

I believe that when people die, it is because they've completed the task that the Lord put upon them, and there is nothing left for them to do.  When I heard that Brandi's Bible was still left open in her room on her desk from the last time she read it, it justified that belief.  Brandi, that smart, beautiful, kind, funny, spiritual and caring woman, daughter, sister, niece, cousin and friend, did exactly as she was told.  The Lord asked of her to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly, and she did.

There was a picture of her at her First Communion - she's in a white dress, her hands are clasped and she's looking joyously at the cross.  That's the face I'd like to think the Lord looked upon when he carried her into Heaven.  That's the way I'll always remember her, anyway.

Rest in peace, dear Brandi.  Look down upon us with kindness.  You've passed on your responsibilities now, and we've got some big shoes to fill.

Brandi Leigh Mannino

September 8, 1991 - November 19, 2015