Classy Lady Tips

[I know I haven't written in a while, and it's because my family has been living in the trenches of unstable mental health. I'm not sure if I'm revving up to tell you about it or not . While I don't want to be cryptic, my story does involves others and without their permission my story become a bit untenable. As always, thank you for your generous spirit which allows me to write what stories I deem safe for public consumption and keep personal those that I want to keep close.]

DARLINGS.

This weekend, I realized that some data in me needed to break out. Two of my nieces have turned 13 this year and are dabbling in make-up and social media and clothes. I don't have a female identifying child but at 43, I have some womanly knowledge that has been HARD WON, and I think I'm finally able to succinctly and thoughtfully distribute these pearls to the next generation. I'm obviously still growing and learning about myself, but at this point it's time to get what I have learned down in the archive. Many female identifying people grow up with an incomplete toolbox of feminine awareness, and I decided WHO BETTER to teach young ladies how to be classy that ME?

(We all do realize this is very tongue-in-cheek, correct? I mean, I WAS just scrolling TikTok and very briefly paused on the newest trend of "Guess My Fart," in which someone guesses the noise of another's flatulence. So...I mean, let's grain of salt here.)

Here we go.

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Blaine's Tips on Becoming a Classy Lady

KNOW THYSELF

Get to know the following things about yourself: Skin, Menstrual Cycle, and Hair. Your hormones change every 7 years and when you're a teen that stuff is all over the place. Once it all gets to a place where you feel comfortable, track things and pay attention.

Identify what your self-care looks like and then hoard it like a mama swan with her eggs. These are activities that you do for yourself, no one else, and that bring you joy and a sense of worth. You can be selfish here.

CHALLENGE THYSELF

Have fun with fashion. Your style will change as you mature, which is wonderful. In time, you'll realize that the classics are the unchangeable items in your closet on which it's worth spending money. Wear what makes you feel pretty, proud, professional or strong. Wear items for yourself, not for anyone else. If you want guidelines use these: for each outfit incorporate something with color, something with glitz, something with a pattern and something with a different fabric. 

Try new things. GIRL, keep learning. For the longest time I told myself I knew who I was and what I liked. "I'll never be the kind of person who..." "I'll never wear..." "I'll never do..." STOP THAT. What that does is limit yourself and cause you to judge others. Surprise yourself.

Learn how to walk in heels, and sit up. Taller people are taken more seriously, it's the world we live in. Back straight, shoulders back, pelvis turned in, neck and knees unlocked.

Darling mine, work on yourself in these categories:

• Spiritually: Stand for something, sweetheart, or you'll fall for anything. This is your base.
• Physically: Keep yourself active in the ways you like. Try to sweat a little each day.
• Emotionally: Know your triggers and find your voice, child.
• Financially: Learn the basics of financial health and set a budget.
• Relationally: Be kind. Be a passionate compassionate. Love generously. Actively listen.
• Artistically: Even if you don't have a creative bone in your body, have a favorite piece of art. Memorize a kick-ass poem. Know all the words to a slamming rap song. Whatever inspires you.
• Individually: Find contentment in being on your own.

RELY ON THYSELF

Limit your apologies. Don't apologize for someone else's behavior or perception. If your confidence wanes, do one of the following: seek out a friend who will tell you the loving truth, turn to your self-care activities or eat something.

Be clean. Take care of your body, clothes, room, house, purse, car, etc. If you're a make-up wearer, take at least one day a week to not wear any make-up and give your skin a rest. 

Do your research before a meeting, before appointments, before traveling. Set your memory on snappy, and know at least one recipe.

HELP THYSELF

When you need something and you can't do it for yourself, ask for help.

Listen to your body and take care of it gently. Massages, facials, skin wraps, make-up tutorials, dermatology appointments, bubble wraps, mental health days, etc. are ways we can show love to ourselves. 

To my nieces - may you make all the mistakes and learn from them. May you open your hearts up to others and their cultures, experiences and knowledge. And may you remember to put a few drops of saline in your mascara to make it last longer, carry lotion in your purse during the winter, and keep a tweezers in the car. Love you sweet things.

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What do you folks think? Did I hit it all? Did I make it too impossible to be a classy lady? Anxiously awaiting your thoughts. Love you. Keep up the good work.