Pig Supper Movie Night!
Doug and I planned to take Ollie to the St. Paul Saints game
last Saturday night for his birthday, but it got rained out. Instead, we had a fun family night in. Ollie was pretty bummed that we couldn’t
attend the baseball game, so Doug and I tried to create a truly special family
evening to make up for it. We weren’t
going for your run of the mill Monopoly and movie night!
We found out that the game was postponed from the stadium’s
jumbotron despite our many calls to the ticket office throughout the wet and
windy day. All of us had already had a snack
on the way to the field because we had agreed to eat at the stadium. When we decided to head home, no one was
really hungry for dinner so we stopped
at the grocery store and picked up some pig supper supplies!
What’s a pig supper, you may ask? Well, it’s a once a year – maybe – type of dinner. It’s when you eat as much ice cream as you
can handle – for your dinner. It’s a
night Mom says SCREW IT and Dad decides not to argue and the kids think their
parents rope the moon. It’s a Cook
family tradition that Mom started when she and us kids would go on vacation
(either Dad didn’t have the time off and Mom had to get the heck out of Dodge or she would lose
her mind, or it was the weekend of the Michigan-Notre Dame game when no one
wanted to be around Dad justincase the
Wolverines lost), and she wanted a night off from fighting the nightly who-can/will/should-eat-what
battle with three children. In my mind,
one night she stood with her shaking hands clutching the sink for support as
she listened to us girls fighting over trolls and Barbies in the living room
and thought, Where's MY vacation? I don't want to make ANYTHING! *looks at the freezer, then to the kids and back at the freezer* I should just stuff them
with frigging ice cream, then I'll be the best mom ever and I won't have to do squat, and she did.
A star (of a meal) was born.
We got home and I gave Ollie instructions to find a movie and change
into his comfiest pjs, Doug directions to pitch Ollie’s tent in the living
room and set out his sleeping bag, and then set to work.
Now, a true pig
supper involves packing up the kids and the wipes and heading to the nearest
ice cream parlor. It’s supposed to take
absolutely minimal effort. Like
none. Like, actually, give them money
and send them on their bikes then put some cucumbers over your eyes and catch a
wink type effort. But if, like me, you
want to make it a bit more gourmet,
you roll up your sleeves and…
STEP ONE: …warm up 3 cake donuts (one for each person) in
the microwave.
I KNOW, RIGHT? Donuts
are ALWAYS the best starting off point. I mean, seriously, if you’re going to have a dinner with completely zero health benefits, do it UP. It works best if they're the box kind that are all dried up and stale. Actually, I don't know if it works best that way, that's just the only way I've ever done it. A pig supper is usually tastiest when all the food is gone and Mom's in the corner pulling on her split-ends humming Elvis.
Nuke the done-dones for a short amount of time and put a wet, crumpled up paper towel in there to keep the donuts moist. Yeah, I've done this a few times.
STEP TWO: Set each of the donuts in the bottom of a
bowl. Some people have specific dishware
for ice cream sundaes. I only have
specific dishware for corn cob buttering – and that’s a paper plate
with a fat stick of margarine dripping with old corn bits that’s been sitting
in the back of the fridge for two years, but go ahead and use whatever dishes you
want, Fancy Frass. Just make sure
there’s room for getting all that fat and sugar and carbs and forgotten dreams
in there.
STEP THREE: Pile on the ice cream. If you have more than one type of ice cream,
go big or go home.
STEP FOUR: Drizzle (read: FLOOD) that hot fudge, butterscotch, caramel – whatever - on that bad boy and ignore your inner nurse practitioner's warnings.
STEP FIVE: Top it off with whipped cream – and you know I don’t
mean a dollop.
STEP SIX: Barrage that sundae within an inch of its life with
every type of topping you can imagine/stomach (or just one, Slimmy, if you’re on a diet). I’m talking sprinkles, I'm talking nuts,
chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, fruit, Captain Crunch, you name it.
Then serve that supper up with a smile, Mama, and take the
night off caring about nutrition or rotting teeth.
(But seriously, make everyone brush their teeth before bed
because who needs more dental bills than what your kids’ already jacked up
teeth will cost, amirite? My kid chews
on ICE.)
I guarantee you that when you come out of the kitchen into
the living room and the boys are in their pajamas, the tent is up, The
Chronicles of Narnia is primed on the DVD player and you’ve got your hands full
of delicious ice cream, your boys are going to look at you like you battled the
Death Star and won. The Hallelujah
Chorus actually played behind me on Saturday night. Really, I don’t know how it happened.
(Then the record scratch screeched because my eyes darted to
the pillows laid out over the floor and I immediately screamed out to put the
pillows back on the couches, we’re having ice cream for crying out loud,
everyone on the floor and use your napkins this time.)
After that we settled in, started the movie and blissed out
in a cuddle puddle on the floor slurping up our ice cream.
*
It definitely wasn’t the baseball game, but it wasn’t a usual family night either!
Post script – bedtime will suck, but due to sugar coma,
they’ll fall asleep like *snap*.
If you want more ideas on fun family movie nights, check out
PureFlix. A website and app that strives
to be the most trusted family-friendly video-streaming source on the web,
PureFlix is a great resource when you a) can’t remember if there are curse
words in a certain film, b) don’t know what PG means, c) can’t stomach another
night of bickering over what to watch and d) want to watch a video that will–
consistently and reliably – be safe and age appropriate for your littles. They are currently offering free one-month
trials!
*(Oh, were you thinking I was going to show a picture of my cellulite-inducing sundae? Lovepotion, that was gone before the movie even started.)
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