My Grateful List
Ollie darling. Let me count the ways which make me so grateful, I could spit.
1. I'm grateful for Teagan Marie McGruder. Your little cousin was born on February 2nd. She is a perfect little peanut and deserves all the love and happiness and blessings in the world. As do her parents, who are just macho super parents who make everything look so dreadfully easy that you wish you could be a fly on their wall and see them make the teensiest of mistakes, but then take it back because you've placed them on such high pedestals that if they were ever to fall, you'd never forgive yourself. Plus, you don't want to be a d-bag by wishing stress on anyone else. Ollie, you really don't care enough about "the baby" right now and when we placed her in your lap, you took one look at her, smiled for the camera and then tried to push her off you onto the floor. BORING! Mason, however, is being the best little helper and big brother!
2. I'm grateful that the little cat on Daniel Tiger's neighborhood inserts "Meow, meow" when she speaks. I think of that Super Trooper scene which makes watching yet another awful cartoon more bearable.
3. I'm grateful for the dinosaurs and pirate ships I have to sift through to get to the shower. I know that in a few short years, I'll be sifting all gaggy through Axe deodorants and stiff washcloths, so I'll send up thanks now.
4. I'm grateful for Caillou's obnoxious and whiny voice, and the multiple chances each day I get to hear it. Oh, wait.
5. I'm grateful that I don't have any plans to visit Disney World anytime soon. We've been watching Peter Pan and hoowa, is that movie ever racist. Also, that Genevieve from "Choo Choo Soul" looks like she could cut. a. bitch.
6. I'm grateful for the Sprout Channel at night. Even though the last thing my little pup needs is more visual stimulation, they do a good job of shutting down the night - better than my exhaustion can do some nights. And those Wibbly Pig and Sarah & Duck shows are really sweeter than sweet...right now.
7. I'm grateful for bathroom doors that lock when I have a toddler who, try as you might, Ollie, does NOT understand "Closed Doors Stay Closed." I'm grateful that I'm learning to poop successfully with a child outside banging on the bottom of the door as he lays with his head cocked to the side looking underneath it, screaming, "Ya done yet, Mama? Ya done? Mama, ya done?"
8. I'm grateful that you are learning Spanish, even if it's from your Fisher Price laptop. When you stomp around the house repeating, "Eight. Ohhh-cho," it's pretty impressive. I wish my mother-in-law would choose that time to drop in. But then again, the other day in the car, Daddy goes, "Hey Ollie: how do you say 'One' in Spanish?" Without missing a beat, you responded, "One in Spanish!"
9. I'm grateful that you don't mean to be hilarious. That's the best kind of humor, bud. Daddy read you a dinosaur book the other night and was teaching you names of some dinosaurs. You got to Triceratops, and kept repeating, "Sara-Tops." It took Daddy a few minutes to realize that you thought he was saying, " Try [to say] Sara-Tops."
10. I'm grateful for how playful and creative you are.
11. I'm grateful that when you scream, "No, Mama, no!" we make it into a chant and you forget what you were complaining about. Sometimes.
12. I'm grateful for the model train museum we visited last weekend. While it smelled like a grandpa's basement dirty laundry basket, it was cheap and something new in this winter of excessive, boring indoorness.
13. I'm grateful for Dr. Sidman and his team at the Minneapolis Children's Hospital. They put tubes in your ears on Monday and were so kind, patient and loving to you. I'm grateful that your daddy is both a hospital social worker as well as a man who went through many surgeries when he was younger because these experiences, coupled with the fact that he's a terrific daddy, made explaining it all to you much easier. I'm grateful that you were a calm little boy and helped the doctors by being super cooperative. I'm grateful that you came out of anesthesia like a champ (you opened your eyes and said quietly, "Where's my banana popsicle?"), and that you only cried upon leaving the hospital because you wanted to play with all the cool toys. I'm grateful that the nurse gave you 3 popsicles and 10 stickers because you were seriously planning to demand 1 popsicle and 2 stickers. I'm grateful to all that prayed and sent up good thoughts - and grateful that I remembered to wear my lucky jewels and color in my lucky face-mole (it's a stage secret).
14. I'm grateful that I get to hear how the tubes are working. The day of surgery, I sneezed and you jumped, saying, "Mama! Too loud!" The morning after surgery, you climbed into bed with me. I asked you how your ears were feeling, and you said, "Everything so loud, Mama." I can already hear you articulate your consonants a little more, too.
15. I'm grateful that you still don't articulate everything. I was a little worried that you'd come out of surgery speaking like a Rhodes Scholar. I think we still have a few more years to worry about that, darling.
19. I'm grateful that you do not yet follow the whole toys per gender thing. You asked me to buy you a princess the other day at Target. You sang your first made-up song to her while dressing her, singing, "I love my princess...yes I do, yes I do...look at you, look at you...I love my princess!"
20. I'm grateful that every time we put you to sleep, we point to your stuffed animals and ask who you want to sleep with that night. (It's our secret joke. Parents have those to keep themselves sane.) The other night, you whined, "Papa Mickey!" (Grandpa)
21. I'm grateful that you loooooove "Little Bunny Foo-Foo," you call checkered cabs "picnic cars," and you leap up to rinse food off that have fallen on the floor. If we're not quick enough, you'll put it back in your mouth (gag). I'm grateful that you still like to snuggle and you fall asleep when I sing my made-up version of "Hush Little Baby" (who can seriously remember those words except my mother?). I'm grateful that you're such a sweet, cantankerous, mischievous, funny boy.
Sweet dreams, Stinker.
1. I'm grateful for Teagan Marie McGruder. Your little cousin was born on February 2nd. She is a perfect little peanut and deserves all the love and happiness and blessings in the world. As do her parents, who are just macho super parents who make everything look so dreadfully easy that you wish you could be a fly on their wall and see them make the teensiest of mistakes, but then take it back because you've placed them on such high pedestals that if they were ever to fall, you'd never forgive yourself. Plus, you don't want to be a d-bag by wishing stress on anyone else. Ollie, you really don't care enough about "the baby" right now and when we placed her in your lap, you took one look at her, smiled for the camera and then tried to push her off you onto the floor. BORING! Mason, however, is being the best little helper and big brother!
2. I'm grateful that the little cat on Daniel Tiger's neighborhood inserts "Meow, meow" when she speaks. I think of that Super Trooper scene which makes watching yet another awful cartoon more bearable.
3. I'm grateful for the dinosaurs and pirate ships I have to sift through to get to the shower. I know that in a few short years, I'll be sifting all gaggy through Axe deodorants and stiff washcloths, so I'll send up thanks now.
4. I'm grateful for Caillou's obnoxious and whiny voice, and the multiple chances each day I get to hear it. Oh, wait.
5. I'm grateful that I don't have any plans to visit Disney World anytime soon. We've been watching Peter Pan and hoowa, is that movie ever racist. Also, that Genevieve from "Choo Choo Soul" looks like she could cut. a. bitch.
6. I'm grateful for the Sprout Channel at night. Even though the last thing my little pup needs is more visual stimulation, they do a good job of shutting down the night - better than my exhaustion can do some nights. And those Wibbly Pig and Sarah & Duck shows are really sweeter than sweet...right now.
7. I'm grateful for bathroom doors that lock when I have a toddler who, try as you might, Ollie, does NOT understand "Closed Doors Stay Closed." I'm grateful that I'm learning to poop successfully with a child outside banging on the bottom of the door as he lays with his head cocked to the side looking underneath it, screaming, "Ya done yet, Mama? Ya done? Mama, ya done?"
8. I'm grateful that you are learning Spanish, even if it's from your Fisher Price laptop. When you stomp around the house repeating, "Eight. Ohhh-cho," it's pretty impressive. I wish my mother-in-law would choose that time to drop in. But then again, the other day in the car, Daddy goes, "Hey Ollie: how do you say 'One' in Spanish?" Without missing a beat, you responded, "One in Spanish!"
9. I'm grateful that you don't mean to be hilarious. That's the best kind of humor, bud. Daddy read you a dinosaur book the other night and was teaching you names of some dinosaurs. You got to Triceratops, and kept repeating, "Sara-Tops." It took Daddy a few minutes to realize that you thought he was saying, " Try [to say] Sara-Tops."
10. I'm grateful for how playful and creative you are.
"Mama, I want to fly like a superhero!"
"Mama, let's go to the farm and milk the cows."
(Shhh...Hide and Seek)
11. I'm grateful that when you scream, "No, Mama, no!" we make it into a chant and you forget what you were complaining about. Sometimes.
12. I'm grateful for the model train museum we visited last weekend. While it smelled like a grandpa's basement dirty laundry basket, it was cheap and something new in this winter of excessive, boring indoorness.
13. I'm grateful for Dr. Sidman and his team at the Minneapolis Children's Hospital. They put tubes in your ears on Monday and were so kind, patient and loving to you. I'm grateful that your daddy is both a hospital social worker as well as a man who went through many surgeries when he was younger because these experiences, coupled with the fact that he's a terrific daddy, made explaining it all to you much easier. I'm grateful that you were a calm little boy and helped the doctors by being super cooperative. I'm grateful that you came out of anesthesia like a champ (you opened your eyes and said quietly, "Where's my banana popsicle?"), and that you only cried upon leaving the hospital because you wanted to play with all the cool toys. I'm grateful that the nurse gave you 3 popsicles and 10 stickers because you were seriously planning to demand 1 popsicle and 2 stickers. I'm grateful to all that prayed and sent up good thoughts - and grateful that I remembered to wear my lucky jewels and color in my lucky face-mole (it's a stage secret).
14. I'm grateful that I get to hear how the tubes are working. The day of surgery, I sneezed and you jumped, saying, "Mama! Too loud!" The morning after surgery, you climbed into bed with me. I asked you how your ears were feeling, and you said, "Everything so loud, Mama." I can already hear you articulate your consonants a little more, too.
15. I'm grateful that you still don't articulate everything. I was a little worried that you'd come out of surgery speaking like a Rhodes Scholar. I think we still have a few more years to worry about that, darling.
- Baa Baa Black Sheep = "Baba Back-She"
- Ahoy Matey = "A Ho Maybe!"
- Clap to the beat = "Clap da beef!"
- The BINGO song = "Stomp, Engine-O"
- Hospital = "Hossy-pital"
- Cereal = "See. We. All"
- Chris used to be "Twiss" and now he's "Ka-wiss!"
- House and couch = "How-isss" and "Cow-iiich."
- The other night you were trying to leave the dinner table, and I prompted you, saying: "Oliver, what do we say when we want to be excused from the table? May I be..." Your quick reply: "May I be your friend?"
- I picked you up from school one afternoon and turned up the radio a little. You go, "Mama. Let's have quiet."
- When you get in trouble and want your toy back, you say, "I'm LISTENING now!"
- The other day, I gave you some of my Smart Ones because you weren't in love with the lunch I made. I heard a quiet "Thanks for sharing, Mama."
- Me: "Ollie, eat your cereal please. We have to leave in a few minutes." You: "Okay, Mama! You got it!"
- You: "Captain Hook is on Toy Story!" Me: "Captain Hook isn't on Toy Story, silly!" You: (slapping his forehead) "'Course!"
- Me: "Ollie, you have to have 5 more bites of your dinner before you can be excused." You: "You got it, Mama!" (Takes a small bite). Me: "Ollie, that's only half a bite." You: "Oh man!"
- Driving into an underground garage the other day, you whispered, "Wow. This [is] cool, Mama."
- Last week, my little negotiator said: "Mama, actually, I'll take [a] nap if you bring me my star blanket, okay?"
- Every time you do something you think deserves praise, it's: "Ta-DAAAA!"
- I made something new for dinner one night and you stuck your finger in it, tasted it and said, "Okay. I'm safe."
- Last night in the bath, you asked me to sing a song that I hadn't heard of - I think it was from daycare. I started making up a song when you stopped me and said, "That's not exactly it."
19. I'm grateful that you do not yet follow the whole toys per gender thing. You asked me to buy you a princess the other day at Target. You sang your first made-up song to her while dressing her, singing, "I love my princess...yes I do, yes I do...look at you, look at you...I love my princess!"
20. I'm grateful that every time we put you to sleep, we point to your stuffed animals and ask who you want to sleep with that night. (It's our secret joke. Parents have those to keep themselves sane.) The other night, you whined, "Papa Mickey!" (Grandpa)
21. I'm grateful that you loooooove "Little Bunny Foo-Foo," you call checkered cabs "picnic cars," and you leap up to rinse food off that have fallen on the floor. If we're not quick enough, you'll put it back in your mouth (gag). I'm grateful that you still like to snuggle and you fall asleep when I sing my made-up version of "Hush Little Baby" (who can seriously remember those words except my mother?). I'm grateful that you're such a sweet, cantankerous, mischievous, funny boy.
Sweet dreams, Stinker.
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