Baby-Free Date Day!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was a day of reflection and freedom.  For Doug and I, it was also a day with a babysitter!  We can count on one hand how many times we've been out without Oliver since he was born.

On our 4 year anniversary in October, I gave Doug a couples day.  We could do whatever we wanted, but it had to be a day when daycare could watch Oliver.  I didn't feel comfortable handing Oliver over to one of our friends for a full weekend day (how boring for them!) and we already pay Tutor Time by the week no matter how many days we use.  So we chose MLK Day for our retreat into adulthood and they were open!

I can go through all the disclaimers that parents often give about their guilt dropping their child off while they have fun but we've heard it all before.  You will allow me, therefore, a pass as I don't feel like going into full descriptions of how I think I should've felt.  In truth, Doug and I needed to get OUT - by ourselves - to reconnect and clear our heads.   

The day was cold, my friends.  We started the morning hurrying around to get O ready for school and forgot his lunch when we were 10 blocks in.  While Doug ran back to the house, I chatted with Oliver's caregivers who had 2 other kids in their possession.  I resisted the urge to apologize or feel guilty that my child was the reason they weren't spending the holiday at home.  Lo siento ladies!  You would likely have to be here anyway! 

We made it into the city and went to one of our favorite breakfast spots: Bubby's in Tribeca.  I scarfed on sourdough pancakes while Doug swallowed up some eggs benedict.  Then we lumbered over to a Chinatown spa. 

Let me interject here that I had bought a groupon for two massages and was pretty ecstatic about it.  No, I hadn't Yelped the business, but I figured a massage is a massage for the most part.  Yes, Chinatown may conjur up sensational ideas and Doug had his misgivings.  He's always been a little wary of massages ever since one lady accidentally grazed his 'nads while stroking his thigh.  I've chosen to believe that it was an accident while Doug probably has his other theories. 

The massage was a little off-putting, to be honest.  The rooms weren't heated very well so the instructions of taking off my clothes was a little hard to bear.  Most massage tables have a giant white cloth you use to cover your body with and they just had beach towels.  (Pardon?)  At one point, my masseuse put her knee on my table to dig in.  I mean, I appreciated her scrappiness but I just wasn't ready for the total delve she made into the well-being of my knotted-up shoulder.  It wasn't a complete waste of time, though.  When finished, I definitely felt relaxed from my toes up to my nose.  And no one brushed my husband's genitalia, so good for them. 

We were still too full from breakfast to go eat lunch and we didn't want to see a movie, so we

got some things at Bed, Bath and Beyond and headed home.  I laid down for a nap and Doug played a little Call of Duty.  Both of which are activities that aren't normally done, so we wanted to take advantage of our time as much as we could!

It actually took a while for us to warm up to each other on our free day.  There was kind of an unspoken rule that we shouldn't talk about Oliver or work, so it resembled a first date a little bit because we didn't know what to talk about.  At breakfast we ate quietly, stared at other patrons, questioned each other about their meal...but we did make it to first base and hold hands after Doug paid the check (gentleman!).  On the walk to the spa we talked about social issues like you would a new boyfriend.  When undressing for the massages, we fell into fits of giggles because we both felt a tad uncomfortable - uncomfortable because it was so cold and he was so nervous about being fondled.  But overall, we really enjoyed our date day and agreed that it should be more often so that we can get into the groove much earlier.  We both feel that with a new baby, we were acting like co-workers instead of husband and wife and it was wonderful to reconnect.

I picked up Oliver from daycare while Doug got dinner ready.  Ollie had had a fabulous and calm day with his teachers - I guess only 3-4 kids had come in.  We walked in to a snug, warm, good-smelling house and we ate, played and bathed.  Oliver got to come home to two very happy and relaxed parents and Doug and I were able to refocus a little bit on each other.

All in all, a magical day.