Happy Mama, Happy Baby

I've come to realize that if I'm not somewhat productive during the day, I have a difficult time with myself.  I do understand that I'm supposed to be using this time to figure out what this new foreign language student whom I can't understand is saying (Ollie if you missed the reference), but I still need to take care of myself.  Happy Mama, happy baby, that's what I've started saying.   I've come up with a list of accomplishments that I can do daily to make me feel like I'm a human being who deserves to be living on this planet amongst others.

• Take control of my dental hygiene.  I must floss and brush my teeth twice daily, because as Sarah Silverman once said, "Death comes in through your gums."  I also must wear my dentures.  I don't relish the idea of my jaws collapsing due to the lack of certain teeth.
• Drink water!!  I'm a milk cow and that stuff may just come out like mousse if there's not enough dihydrogen oxide.
• Wear make-up.  I like to think I'm practicing for the day when I do step outside into civilization.  Baby steps - it's just mascara and eyeliner to disguise Mama Sleep Monster, but I look better in pictures, that's for sure.
• Wash face at night.  The constant close proximity of Baby Milk Face causes zits.  And since I'm now starting to wear mascara, I need to be a responsible CoverGirl and take care of my skin.
• Wear chapstick.  I've never been one of those who worships the Carmex gods, but the upsurge in baby-inducing anxiety has caused some major lip chewing and picking.  It's gross, really.
• Brush my hair.  Because someone's gotta.
• Take care of my feet.  You know you need a pedi-egg when your soles start catching on the rug.
• Get outside with Ollie.  This, admittedly, hasn't happened every day with it being summer and there being a) hazardous heat indexes and b) sunshine that can't penetrate his little sunscreen-less skin.  Doug has been good at encouraging us to leave the evergrowing stenchy house, though.  "Doesn't Five Guys sound good?"  "Don't we need a Starbucks this morning?"
• Wear real clothes.  I credit the author of "The Girlfriends' Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood," Vicki Iovine, with this one.  She's taught me such gems like colic isn't personal, mistrust of your husband's childcare ideas is normal but you must get over it, expect the baby to nurse until your breasts almost fall off and my favorite: wear clothes that will take you from daytime into nighttime.  Because inevitably, you will look up at the clock and see that it's midnight, you still have your contacts in, you haven't washed your face and you're going to have to take off those jeans.  But if you set him down now you may get about 32 minutes of sleep before this insane process starts all over again, so what to do?  Sleep in your jeans, of course.  And that's where Vicki's wisdom comes in.  However, there are days when you wanna look like a 30-year-old woman instead of a geriatric mall-walker.  And for those days, maybe a pair of jeans or khaki shorts would seem like a nice idea.  Shaven legs don't hurt your self-esteem either.  I just have to remember to change into pjs...and that it may happen at 4 in the afternoon because that may be my only break.
• Shower and sitz each morning.  If I don't clean myself in the morning, I'm a lost cause for the rest of the day.  Seriously.  Plans are bee-lown.  Especially since I've likely been sitting in a spit-up bra and pants for the past 12 hours.  Spit-up does not have moisturizing properties, come to find out.  It's just puke.
• Pick up the house.  I know.  I posted last month about how I'm trying not to focus on cleaning my house.  But if I'm living in filth, I'm pissed off.  So I try to put Ollie in the Bjorn and clean up just once a day...if by dinner time the place is trashed again, it's not my fault.
• Do one to-do list item.  I have a list of items on a to-do list.  These are connectors to the outside world, items that don't deal directly with Oliver's or my personal hygiene.  These are things like balance the checkbook, make a grocery list and call T-Mobile to change plans.  I have to be a reliable and responsible adult AS WELL as a sleep-deprived new mother.
• Make the bed.  If there's anything that can be done during the day to make you feel like you've accomplished SOMETHING, it's make the bed.  Even if you haven't seen it for a while because you've slept on the futon in the nursery for the past 3 nights.

And there you have it - the items that, if done daily and paired with a satisfied, clean and happy baby and a satisfied, clean and happy husband, cause my day to go from zip to flip.  Zero to hero.  Nil to chill.  Boo to whoo-hoo!