This is how it's going to be now.

This morning, I was able to take a shower with Oliver sitting in his bouncy chair in the doorway.  Cold and quick showers are the norm now because the bathroom doesn't get much ventilation and I don't want to steam out my son.  Hey, man, whatever, I'm getting a shower!

Midway through the shower, I realize that Rumpy's back.  Joy.  No worries, I'll just see how much time I can get out of Ollie post-shower so maybe I can take a speedy sitz.  No sooner do I sit down on the sitz that I realize Oliver's a little too far away from me, I should probably bring him into the bathroom so that I can rock his bouncy with my foot and show him that Mommy hasn't forgotten about him.  Must get up and drip my arse across the tile to bend down and grab the chair, scoot it back to me, and phone rings - three phone calls from Dad explaining that his flight is delayed, Mother-in-Law saying hi to Ollie and Doug calling with a question.  Grab Dad's call, let voicemail pick up MIL and will text Doug back soon.  Oliver starts crying, the sitz bath is getting cold and I have to warm up the water.  Okay - put Dad on hold, find a pacifier for O's mouth and press the button to let down the warm water.  Boobs start dripping because I had forgotten to put on my bra immediately out of the shower, so now my stomach and thighs are dripping with sticky vanilla soy milk and where is a damn nuk when you need one?  The sitz bath starts overflowing because I haven't stopped the flow.  Found a pacifier!  Stick it in his mouth - lovingly, lovingly, don't show frustration, it's not his fault his Mama doesn't show him enough love and attention.  Put the clean hand towel down on the floor so that I can rise to fix the sitz bath - great, add that to the growing laundry pile - slip and almost fall directly onto Oliver who starts grunting (which I'm positive means he has pertussis because I've seen lots of commercials on that recently), and omigosh, Dad's still on hold.  No, no, no, don't cry!

My life.

Comments

Mandie Rose said…
I'm sorry - is it wrong that I'm laughing? I'm laughing... from the comfort of my wine-drinkin', beach-livin', child-free home. Oh, Blaine. Hang in there.

Popular Posts