Boil, Am I Glad THAT'S Over
Is that pun too much of a stretch? I remember once in 4th grade I had to write a story in English class using puns. It was awful, I totally wasn't imaginative enough. And to top it off, the teacher made me read it aloud to the class. I was crying, I was so mortified. I mean, none of it made any sense. So, if you think I'm not "punny" enough, you are in good company, my friend.
Well, my lovelies. Not to repeat the eyebrow-raising, vomit inducing stories of the past, but I do want to let you know that my bottom is healing and I was able to go to the shower in Minnesota this past weekend! Hooray! I brought my inflatable donut with me and utilized it extensively. Oooh, brunch! I'll have my eggs with a side of butt pillow, thanks! Merci for that slice of humble pie. Let's give a Snooki-style "Waaaa" for the fact that most people just thought I had hemorrhoids. Sigh.
I'm so glad I made it to this shower for so many many many reasons, but also because my Mother-in-Law almost couldn't make it last minute. Friday afternoon we came home and Kris admitted to an all-day problem with her leg. We called the doctor who ultimately shamed her into visiting the ER, where it was discovered that it was a cyst on her calf instead of what we all feared - a blood clot. While the ER visit was arduous and gruesome (although Kris being Kris still made some lifelong pen-pals), the outcome was a welcome relief, and she made it back home late that night, well in time for the shower the next afternoon. Doug and I realized that while we will unabashedly hang out in the ER for any unsolvable riddles, our parents would rather chainsaw off their own pinkie toes than sit in a doctor's office. They may really believe there isn't a health emergency code they can't crack themselves. If given the option to diagnose, Paula Cook's recovery treatment would consist of one of Dad's severely outdated Tylenol 3s, an herbal supplement cracked into a protein shake and a shot at her first aid kit last updated in 1983 (which may or may not have killed my rambling gerbil when I left the cage open and he got into the bathroom cabinet when I was 11).
Eh, we all made it out of childhood alive, right? Kudos go to our parents. Love you!
The shower. Oh, the shower - it was every bit as magnificent as the Michigan shower last month. Heather, my Sister-in-Law (who probably wasn't taking any bets that anyone would show up due to the health scares), created the theme, baked and cooked all the food and decorated the Community Room - all by HERSELF. It was amazing. Hollywood decorations galore: a red carpet to welcome guests, balloons anchored by film reels and clapboards and little film confetti on every table. And the food: you must be joking. Layers of fruit, gourmet macaroni and cheese, crudites, Ruben dip, chicken salad tartlets, blue and white jelly beans, pudding trifles, sugar cookies, oreo truffles and - GET THIS - homemade caramels. I mean to tell you this girl went to some LENGTHS. My mouth is filling up with saliva as we speak. I just wish I hadn't stuffed all those caramels in my mouth at once and saved some for just this moment. The spread was like walking into the scene where Scrooge meets the Ghost of Christmas Present for the first time.
And the people - the PEOPLE! Friends we hadn't seen in forever, babies we hadn't met yet, everyone giving me lovely advice and telling me that I look great for 7 months along. GOD BLESS THEM. Doug got to see some guy friends, too; those who dropped off their wives and children went bowling and got chased by Girl Scouts and afterwards we all went out for apps. It just couldn't have been better. So here are some pictures to prove it!
Well, my lovelies. Not to repeat the eyebrow-raising, vomit inducing stories of the past, but I do want to let you know that my bottom is healing and I was able to go to the shower in Minnesota this past weekend! Hooray! I brought my inflatable donut with me and utilized it extensively. Oooh, brunch! I'll have my eggs with a side of butt pillow, thanks! Merci for that slice of humble pie. Let's give a Snooki-style "Waaaa" for the fact that most people just thought I had hemorrhoids. Sigh.
Surprising that you can't see my gauze-pillowed behind in this 30 week picture.
Eh, we all made it out of childhood alive, right? Kudos go to our parents. Love you!
The shower. Oh, the shower - it was every bit as magnificent as the Michigan shower last month. Heather, my Sister-in-Law (who probably wasn't taking any bets that anyone would show up due to the health scares), created the theme, baked and cooked all the food and decorated the Community Room - all by HERSELF. It was amazing. Hollywood decorations galore: a red carpet to welcome guests, balloons anchored by film reels and clapboards and little film confetti on every table. And the food: you must be joking. Layers of fruit, gourmet macaroni and cheese, crudites, Ruben dip, chicken salad tartlets, blue and white jelly beans, pudding trifles, sugar cookies, oreo truffles and - GET THIS - homemade caramels. I mean to tell you this girl went to some LENGTHS. My mouth is filling up with saliva as we speak. I just wish I hadn't stuffed all those caramels in my mouth at once and saved some for just this moment. The spread was like walking into the scene where Scrooge meets the Ghost of Christmas Present for the first time.
And the people - the PEOPLE! Friends we hadn't seen in forever, babies we hadn't met yet, everyone giving me lovely advice and telling me that I look great for 7 months along. GOD BLESS THEM. Doug got to see some guy friends, too; those who dropped off their wives and children went bowling and got chased by Girl Scouts and afterwards we all went out for apps. It just couldn't have been better. So here are some pictures to prove it!
Ross/Bri/Korbin, Sarah, Blaine/Doug, Gus/Nick/Emily, Chris
Future Parents-To-Be!
(31 Weeks)
Does anyone else get completely stupid when there are babies to watch? I swear, you could fight with me, mug me, tell me the most surprising and startling news in the whole US of A, but I wouldn't know it. I'd be too busy watching to see how the baby reacts to pieces of cucumber.
Minnesota Twins.
And as for the PMT, we're getting ourselves organized! Doug put the crib together Tuesday night (can someone else convince my husband that putting together a crib is not man's form of labor and delivery?) and Heather flew in yesterday to paint the nursery! We'll take a brief time-out to attend the Brooklyn Mutt Show on Saturday. I promise you pictures in the next blog!
Until next time, my lovelies!
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